Candy Draft

So this picture is making the rounds on the internet today

And I have some pretty strong thoughts on it. I love candy, big time sweet tooth, and I love the sour candies. Sour patch kids and sour skittles are my GOATS. Some may disagree, but I love the sours. So lets rank these, 1 being the best and twelve being the worst.

12) The gummie fruit candies (3). Who the hell likes these? I know the joke is played out, but those are the candies you find at the bottom of your grandma’s purse. Old people candy. I don’t even think their sour, I just think they are covered in a weird sugar glaze that tastes brutal. Maybe top 5 worst candy of all time.

11) York Pepper Mint Paddys. Not a big fan of these to be honest. I want them to be like thin mint girl scout cookies, but they just arent. I hate that fluffy mint they have in the middle. Same texture as a 3 muskateers. Hate that fluffy stuff. Fluffiness factor really brings these down.

10) Gummy candies (5). Now these aren’t bad, but the odds are pretty stacked against them. Gummy candies are the OG. They have been around for a long time, and have been very consistent. But they don’t bring too much to the table. They are kind of like an old athelete, who was once atop the leauge, but doesn’t know when to retire. The crowd still loves him, but the young talent has really brought his value down.

9) Take 5. I don’t have much to say about Take 5. I have never had one, but really need to try one. I will update you when I get my hands on one.

8) Butterfinger. I love the crisp factor that Butterfinger has. A flakey and crisp texture, but the toffee and peanut butter flavor gets a little over-whelming. Can never go king size on a Butterfinger, need the Halloween size. Sometimes too much of a good thing can be bad.

7) Jolly Rancher. Packed with flavor. These little guys should not be taken lightly. The watermelon and fruit punch flavores are unreal. But a BIG time negative for Jolly Rancher is the sticky tooth effect. If you chew on these, they get stuck in your teeth and it’s almost impossible to get them out.

6)  Twix. Twix are great. I don’t have them that often, but they are a solid pick at 6. You are getting a steal. Twix have that perfect combo of caramel, chochocalte, and crunch. One bad thing about Twix is that you can’t let them get warm. A slightly melted Twix can really ruin your experience.

5) Reeses. I know I will catch a lot of heat for this, because I think Reese’s were a lock for a lot of people to be the #1. I love them. They are delicious, but I can’t eat too many of them at one time. Peanut Butter OD is a real thing, and you don’t want to over do them. Good thing they come in 2 packs.

4) Kit Kat. Just a classic chocolate candy. So simple, so deliocous. Break me off a peice of that Kit Kat Bar indeed. Simply break off a piece and enjoy. Like I said, break off a peice, don’t pull a Giancarlo Stanton and eat it like this

Unacceptable. Act like you have been there before. You don’t deserve a Kit Kat Bar if you eat it like that.

3) Orange Tic-Tacs. These things are like crack. When I buy them, I usually just pour the whole thing in my mouth at once. Are Tic-Tacts suppose to be like mints? These are just candy, and are verrrrrryyyy addicting. Great taste, but you need to have a thorough teeth brushing session after eating them. So much sugar.

2) Snickers. The GOAT of chocholate candy. This is a four tool candy bar. Chocolate, peanuts, caramel, nougat. Don’t even get me started on the frozen ice cream Snickers bars. They may be better than the normal candy bar. So good. So classic, could easily be a #1 pick if it wasn’t going against Skittles.

1)  And the number one pick in the 2016 candy draft is Skittles. Now the picture above has mixed berry Skittles, which suck. I am drafting Sour Skittles with the #1 over all pick. I love these. Perfect mix of sour and sweet. Only down side Sour Skittles have is that they tear up your tounge and gums for a couple of days, but the pain is so worth it. They are so good this man dedicated his 96 Buick to them.


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